Time For A Change

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jocyce's big day!

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Enlightened.

2010-02-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

we don't always get what we want in life, do we? The earth will keep on revolving and the clock will be ticking away. Time is not going to stop and let us whine and weep over things we erred. we got to be strong and move on with life!

2010-02-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

To: melissa, anna, jiamin, shiqi, ye siying
First and foremost, i would like to express my deepest gratitude to my friends who had planned the most unforgettable birthday surprises for me. You girls really brighten up my life! Though we have chosen different paths, i know that we will never be able to forget those crazy moments we spent together. we shall stay in touch till we grow old and frail!?

2009-06-12T01:13:00.000-07:00

chill out!

2009-05-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

What is your future going to be like in ten years down the road?

The question has never cross my mind up until now.

Is your future vocation your dream job and the one you will pursue at any costs or is it a job that u have to accept because of the pay?
This is an intriguing thought..........

To be honest, I have not a single idea of my future career up until now. I am THINKING of becoming a doctor. That may sound far-fetch and may be a little crazy to some. But, why not? I'm thinking.........

Recently, I have been feeling a little depress over family problems. Why do i get the feeling of being neglected and uncared for? Is it because i came from a large family with many other siblings or is it true that i am not worthy of it? Nonetheless, i have straighten out my thoughts.

I am going to learn to be strong no matter what happens. I must not be pessimistic. I have to rely on myself for comfort.No one will be there to let me bawl my eyes out and neither will there be a shoulder for me to lean on.

Examination is finally over and it is time to chill out and relax after 3 weeks of hard work! Gonna celebrate with the gals tomorrow! party world, here we come!haha!

photos taken on valentine's day!

2009-02-15T02:37:00.000-08:00

2009-02-10T04:16:00.000-08:00

satisfied or illusion?

2009-01-30T03:29:00.000-08:00

melissa's right.......4s1 is drifting apart.....i had try every plausible ways to make concessions to accept others and tried to live ways like their in class yet only a handful appreciated and accepted me. I 'broke class goals' and tried to be humorous but it is tiring..I do not believe that everything is foreordained yet it seems destined....=_=

I have adapted to secondary four life and although there are alot of supplementary lessons and tests, i did not feel streesful.Instead, I have learnt to cope them well and doing the best of my capabilities. Drama training became so fun lately after miss Tan came.I looked forward to every training to hone my acting skills.

Motto: wOrK HaRd for the FiNaL lAp!

update!
on 21/1/09, i am formally a sixteen years old girl and enjoying my sweet sixteen life. The girls[you know who] made a ruckus in the class during recess time, vying to let me try their home-made food specially made for me.so sweet......They were great and the food is palatable[honestly!].I tried every single one till my stomach was bloated.THANKS GIRLS!I received their gift the next day and was touched.........it was the greatest present i ever received in my sixteen birthdays.

26/1/09, It's Chinese New Year but i did not enjoy myself.My parents are verbally hurting each other because of my domestic helper..........I hoped everything turns out well!

Time to set off.

2009-01-15T03:53:00.000-08:00

It's hard to assimilate the truth that i'm secondary four now.Time really flies and before i knew, i'm turning sweet sixteen this year and sitting for o'level examinations.In school, we are going at full force and no deceleration or else we will crash.Knows what i mean?
2009 is a year full of excitement yet it gives me a sense of intrepid and apprehensive. Questions like:
''Are you thinking of going to junior college or polytechnic?''
''What is your ambition?''
''Have you thought of going to university or further your studies at overseas?''
kept bombarding me.To be honest, I've not given much thought to such issues. I just knew that whatever my career is in the future, it must be a job that creates bliss, joys and hope to people.I do not aspire to be a renown artiste, an oratorically eloquent lawyer, a skillful doctor and etc. I just want to do a job that i enamored, not coercion that force me to something i distaste of. Life is full of mysteries and every process we gone through, unravels a new chapter that will affects us indefinitely. Life is but a sprig.It is fragile and short lived. Though we may not know what might happen to us in the future, maintaining a sanguine attitude, being high-spirited and good fortitude is what we should have now to welcome the unknown future.

Am i proficiency in arts or dexterity in sports?I have no idea.But i guess i do not have for the latter one. One thing i knew, i love dancing........and thanks to bevan who has given me the chance to be exposed to hip-hop, locking and popping and kindle my passion for them when im in sec 2. On top of that, i knew i will never forget the dance experiences i have compiled and i will never relinquish dance.[but i do not aspire to be a dancer.just an interest.]

~stay in tune~

2008-12-16T02:22:00.000-08:00

below are photos taken during my grandpa wake,trip to malaysia,mom birthday and etc....

ENJOY..........

2008-12-16T01:56:00.000-08:00

2008-12-16T00:16:00.000-08:00

2008-12-13T21:52:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since i last update my blog.

Everyone's has just gradually accepting the undeniable fact and unbridled truth that he has left us to somewhere we,humans,have to reach eventually.But whenever we converse,it is inevitable that we will touch on his history...........i could still remember vividly the day he brought my twin sister and i to airport just to have fun.He bought us dark shades which craggy old dude would wear.His alacritous character made him so amiable ....we ate ice-cream,cracked jokes,laugh,awe-struck by the magnificent views of the air-port........that was many years ago when i was in primary 2 yet it came flooding back to me in torrent only at the last and final moment when i kissed him on the forehead...a kiss goodbye....that memory was when he was still fit as a fiddle...wholesome....it is worth remeniscing........so warmth yet heart-wrenching...

After a few years,he became wheel-bounded.....viruses and bacterias attacked,assailed and tortured him mercilessly since then...yet he maintained a sanguine attitude till the day he was hospitalised......his immunity level fell and he no longer had the will to battle against the nefarious unknown diseases.

Ever since his departure,my grandma seems to fall into slight delirium.I know it takes a period to adapt to life without him.Currently,she does'nt has the mood to cook her signature vegetarian dishes and desserts but we will definitely await for the table of sumptuous dishes she used to cook for us and for him......
And i do know the impossibility of taking the fact of his death to her stride completely as they were once a lovey-dovey couple and their marriage lasted forty seven years.........

i would definitely fulfil my grandpa wishes...........
~end~

love..........

2008-11-09T02:12:00.000-08:00

all the sufferings had finally ended,all the anticipation had finally come to a halt ...everything is or should i say gained freedom....
my grandpa was announced dead on the 1st of october 2008....after exactly fifty days of suffering in the hospital,he had left us for good.....we are happy for him.....the demise of our love one is painful yet a happy moment....all of us were there when he left....in the icu unit.....on the previous night,we were told that we should prepare for the worst.....we took it hard at first but finally accepted it....we knew this day would definitely come ....so,we celebrated his birthday in the icu unit with special pernission granted.....because this is his last and the final birthday...we stayed up all night to monitor his health.....but his blood presurre kept decreasing .....decreasing....and decrease even further to a ? mark.......the monitor could no longer detact his blood pressure......gradually,his heartbeat sensor shown a ? mark too......a queer phenomenon shown up......his blood pressure sensor rose to 33,dropped to 0.....until my grandma gave him a goodbye kiss,then did everything end well......the sp02,bloodpressure,heartbeat remained 0...........he died at 7.53 a.m...........on the very same day,we attended his funeral.......it was heart-wrenching......every single one of us cry our heart out....my grandma is grief-stricken.........

on monday,i went to school feeling dejected and attended lessons.....also to pass my grandpa death certificate to my form teacher.........i missed lessons on tue as well as wed......on wednesday,we headed to the crematorium..........

to my dearest grandpa:
we love u..........

~END~

time crisis

2008-10-16T05:25:00.000-07:00

well,its hard to remain optimistic and to be cheerful ...my grandpa is hospitalised for the 4th week,which is 1 full month.He isn't getting any better.Which in turn,worsen.I knew he is in excrutiating pain....groaning in pain,bearing the pain,living in pain.He is still running a high fever for the 6th day.......His face is pale,blood pressure is much too low.A normal person blood bressure should be above 100 but his is only 60+....today,when he went for dialysis,something cropped up again.his blood pressure dropped even lower to 50+......immediately,the nurses stopped the dialysis session and the doctor quickly examine him.His condition is still a mystery.The doctors have no inkling about his illness.It is referred as a unique case.His body is attacked by unknown viruses.We are told to prepare for the worst.Watching my grandpa suffering is unbearable.I doubt he can hold on any longer....it's just a matter of time......He needed special bed too because due to lack of movements and lying on the bed for too long,his butt is itchy and redden...a spacious mattress which cost $10 more than the usual one per day.When he heard of it,he is even more depressed.He feels that he is a burden to us......definitely not!

For the year end examinations,i scored quite well which is quite comforting......6As and 1Bs......class position is 4 and level position is 7...im contented.

~end~

2008 coming to an end soon!

2008-10-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

my apologies guys for not updating my blog so often....boring eh?haha...but please bear with it...

well,so much had happened in such a short period of time..one of my relatives went to america with her son to reunite with her husband,my grandpa was hospitalised for almost 3 weeks,end of year examinations[finally came to an end] and tensions between my parents grew so strong because of my maid.

The thing that really worries and bugs me is my grandpa health...his health is deteriorating..just whenever the doctor signal us the greenlight,new illnesses will soon attack his body...making him real sick....for 3 weeks,he had been lying on the sick bay,unable to get up,in the ICU[intensive care unit].He had 2 major operations and luckily,all went smoothly.Now,he is admitted to normal ward which is a ''c'' class ward but its only for the time being.He still needs special attention as his illness might take a toll on his health once again.My family had decided that once he is discharged,we will hold his 75th birthday party.We are not taking risk by waiting for his actual birth date.We will hold a grand birthday party for him,celebrates his birthday in such a way that he will remembers it for life.well,i sounded quite pessimistic right?But still,i will hope for miracle.Pray everyday,hoping he will recover and be as fit as a fiddle,in pink health.Watching him suffering is painful for me.He humours me too despite of his health by pulling funny faces to make me laugh.He promised that he will get well so that i could attend his birthday party because i missed his 74th birthday party as i was in for council camp.Im SURE he WILL pull through this obstacle!A-gong jia you!add oil!haha......

NEXT,eoy examinations had finally come to an end!i hope its a good end!I have work hard and hope my effort had not gone down the drain.Hope to score with flying colours.

LASTLY,my parents strained relationship will improve further!It hurts me to listen to their hurtful remarks about each other.They exchange harsh words which often mortifies me.It makes it even less tolerable when they ask me to justify who is at a larger fault and pose questions that are even harder then exam papers.I often kept my mouth shut when it comes to judgemental qns......my mom is already unhappy with me in quite a few aspects and if i ......then wouldn't it makes matter worse?she does'nt like me though she denies...its clear that she adores my sis more and i never take it at my stride.....i've long gotten use to it....she thinks im a 'traitor' by being close to my relatives because she has some grudges with them which are adult problems....i don's think and will not allow their problems to affects whom i go along with.Its this attitude that she doesn't like and i won't change....i will stick to my status quo.If my parents are going to rank the five of us according to who they love most,i would definitely get the last placing..i always knew that.......ok,sorry guys for telling u all my unhappiness.im just trying to get it off my chest.....i feel better now!'thanks for reading...

~END~

2008-08-23T04:55:00.001-07:00

UPDATE!

WELL,TIREDNESS is really killing me!busying with this and that...but kinda fun though!haha
achievements for this term!
1.good performance at the glass gallery[drama][5 performances on that day]
2.opss so you think you can dance champion team
3.consolation prize[only 10 cp to be given out] for the reading club competition

For the reading club competition,there were many conflicts going on...of course is not between teammates but with the lin lao tai!so many amendments and changes of designs to be made because of her...everybody's schedule is so tight yet she dint bother to go along with our schedules but hers...and i was scolded harshely by her because i could'nt hand in the chinese letter-writing on time![defence:there was glass gallery performance on that day and the drama members were under early releasement order!she gave us the work 10 mins before i left and expect me to hand in by that day!it was so ridiculous,right?i came back to school at 9p.m.++]

i was really slogging my guts for the reading club comp.i design the whole concepts ,instruct ppl on wad to do[most challenging job],buy this and that,being scolded for this and that...but luckily in the team there are some nice ppl too who stand by me!!they are
1.anna[make plasicine figurines]
2.jia min[cutting,painting,colouring]
3.melissa[do everything with me!thanks!]
4.shuxin[colouring,going out buying stuffs]
5.wei chou[drawing,going out buying stuffs]
6.kong ming[wimpish,petty![50 cents only]haha..jkjk...helping out here and there
7.cho hung[helping out with alot of stuffs]
8.shaun[help out in everything!]
THANKS everyone!

i really pray and hope that i can really rest well for the next few weeks!let me get recharged fully first before any big event comes by...please god!

term 3 is coming to an end in 1 more week...term 4 approaching!exams are nearer!more homeworks awaiting!stress are increasing!time for sleeping are decreasing!

tian!jia you!haha....

well,overall,this term is definitely a tiring,laborious and weary term for me...sad moments are much more than happy moments....my mood thus swings easily ...sorry friends if i am abit too harsh and cold towards u gals sometimes previously..i was really under stress by someone and almost falling to depression....but i can talk to no one.[i really don dare to trust anyone[friend] anymore.the word 'friend' to me is getting scarier.it was like a monster,a curse...everytime i try to overcome it by trusting friends,they will either betray or abandon me when they have other friends.it was painful to be forgotten and ditch by ppl who u think is friend...therefore,im used to being alone,working slolely alone,looking and responding coldly to ppl.......even if i say,there is no solution to it so i kept it to myself....but i really appreciate your encouragements....it was warmth and soothing to hear...gave me a little strength to defeat my depression....but best remedy for me is to be alone...and probably enclose myself.nut i will heal my wound myself reaL effective and u will see a happy and smiley tian in no time!

~end~

2008-08-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

Back to blog again....haha..

moron!

2008-08-09T23:23:00.001-07:00

yo!

2008-08-09T23:17:00.001-07:00

can it be reversed?

2008-08-09T03:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, i just blogged about winning the competition.But just now not long ago,i just read li jun 's blog and one of the post directed at us.It was heart-wrenching though......Last year,when we trained for high school musical dance with bevan,it was so fun being together!But now, everything changed.The 6 of us went separate ways....and we even competed in the so you think u can dance competition....It wasn't supposed to be like this.....Initially,I thought of asking back all of you girls back to form a team again to participate in that competition but we doesn't seem to be together ...we,the 2 teams,seem to be at loggerheads with each other.Idon't wish it to turn out like this....i really enjoy those time we spent as together as a team...to dance as a team,to have fun as a team,to have each other in a team.I miss all that trainings together........can it be reverse ?Dancing with you girls last year made me realise that dancing can be so fun!you gals really can dance!i felt so fortunate dancing with you gals although i always feel that we are from different world apart from dancing...because you all are so close,so girlish[unlike me,so manly]and so happening among you gals that i felt so distant .........you gals and i aren't close,and i do envy u all....

i remembered very clearly that when we won the high school musical,we were so astonished and excited....we held hands together,hugged each other....it meant that our effort had finally paid off.....as a team......bit when we lost the anti drug competition,we were so disappointed as a team but we regain as a team too....but now,our once great rapport,friendship and team spirit was tarnished...........we were'nt a team anymore.....we seemed much more like an enemy,rival......hatred arises so easily and deep animosity too....

What happened in the dance studio,we are really sorry....It was just meant as a joke....nothing!let's not slander each other anymore.....-_-

~END~

win win win!

2008-08-07T05:10:00.000-07:00

know wad!?

we won the 'so you think you can dance competition!haha.....happy dao......haha....+o+
effort finally paid off.....haha....GO GEEKS!
There are a total of 7 teams competing and quite a few are very good too.haha....thought we gonna lose cox some of us did something wrong although it is not obvious....haha...and thanks to those who came to support!

comments made by the judges:
1.distinct theme....haha...we are nerds![appearance and behaviours!]
2.best facial expressions among the various teams!
3.nice choreo!

=win!haha.....really glad we won!haha.......
gonna perform for passion arte....haha...shiok dao....

=]

~end~

ghost festival.

2008-08-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Everything doesn't seems to be right.....my sister was truly an idiot!she's always acting on her own accord without sparing a thought for others.My memory card got stuck in her phone when i suggested to borrow her phone to check my sim card and memory card.BUT,she doesn't allow me to slot it in myself and for goodness sake,she does it so 'perfectly well' that it got stuck!What infuriated me was that she did not even apologise but instead,asked me to shut up!wad the toot........#_@

some photos.........more to come...

BLOG AGAIN.....FINALLY!

2008-07-31T05:43:00.000-07:00

SORRY GUYS FOR NOT UPDATING SINCE THE LAST JUNE HOLIDAY.....
i've been busying with alot of events and competitions and performances......phew.....*-*

DANCE: '' so you think u can dance'' school dance competition on 7 august...exactly 1 week away
[haha....if u are my friends,come and support my team!ESPECIALLY THESE PEOPLE:
-MELISSA
-JIA MIN
-ANNA
-MAY
-KOK KIONG
-HAZIQAH
-SHU XIN
-CHANG HEE
-SANG RUO
-KARMIN
-SU MIN
-ANTHONY
-REETA
:passion art; OMG performance
:passion art:so you think you can dance champion performance;if only we could win...
[passion art permances fall on 16 august at the cc near the school]

DRAMA:passion art performance
:teacher's day performance
:art house performance

TOTAL 6 EVENTs COMING UP!

I felt really tired......but quite happy....haha.....really hope that we can win the competition.

on 29/7,after dance training.serene and i went to macdonald to chill out.Then we chance upon the topic on our batch promp night.I told her that i have no wish to attend such event because firstly,im not a party goer and secondly,i will be lonely .......[there are too many couples around and i will be too 'bright' among them..]haha.......but jia min can accompany me...haha....

Motto for the week:
be fit and healthy!

Permanent WisheS:
1.friends don't leave me when they have other friends
2.friends don't come to me only when they remember me
3.3s1 boys !please don't behave so wildly.STOP SMUGGLING FOOD AND SWEET DRINKS UP TO CLASS!
4.optimistic always!

~END~

2008-05-27T03:10:00.000-07:00

june holiday started.....but normal lessons still goes on...and so many camps coming up......sec 1 ,sec 3 and probably drama camp.

there are alot of assignments to do as well.......

mid year results...
physic a2
chem a2
a math a2
combined humanities a2
e math a1
chinese b3
english c5

work doubly hard for term 3....!

2008-04-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

well,today i finally reported the smugglers from 3s1.....i have a premonition that since then,my life may become topsy turvey.......more and more people will start to loathe and shun away from me.......friends will you all do that?i hope not....

how do i feel after reporting?
i felt guilty yet glad....
i am fully aware that i should be more lenient but have not i tolerating enough?it may seem bullshitting talks now but i knew that i am doing the right thing...

overall day...
after school today,i helped kiran with the drama audition...it went smoothly though it dragged real long...out of boredom,i went to look at wushu training ..it was indeed fascinating..actually,joining wushu is my long term wish but fate is toying me..firstly,cca form being confiscated by the dance teacher in charge when i havent even decide on joining the cca..secondly,i had finally made an agreement with mrs loke that after syf,i will leave dance club provided that i managed to find a new cca..the reason for not choosing wushu when i have the chance is because of inferiority..it is too late..

2008-04-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

hi everyone.....it has been a long time since i last blogged.....below are some new pictures that are just uploaded .........ENJOY!!

heres my term 1 overall results:

1]a- math: 98/100....A1
2]e-math:91/100.....A1
3]combined humanities.....forgot....but A1
4]english.....forgot...should be B3
5]physic.....should be B3
6]chem......should be B4 or C5

overall percentage:76

Im really disappointed with my results.....didn't performed as expected.....

motto for term 2: I WILL WORK EVEN HARDER

diary.....
my passion to dance seems to grow rapidly.......always thinking of new moves ....doesn't seems right.......ok...i noe..its out of topic....but im really wondering what my future is......

people around me are in love.....except me.....everywhere there seems to be an item appeared before me, appearing intimately and very sweetly.......^v^

lovers listen up:love for all u can!

can anyone tell me that am i really very strict when im a councillor????????????????????????

....3s1 guys seems to loathe me......im sorry if i had to be strict towards individual because im just doing my duty....don ever tell me to pretend that i didnt see any rules flout when i actually did sere it....cox,its my principle!!!

speech day.....

2008-04-05T01:31:00.000-07:00

speech day was fun.....but it was very tiring.....heres some pics to enjoy!!!!photos included hazi,shuxin,siying.edwin.zhiyao.quinny,jiayu,ian,martin,kiran,arvinder,eugene,iqing,nazri,miss paul,miss farah,mrs deven and other drama members and dance comrades........

@

2008-03-11T05:56:00.000-07:00

hi everyone.....haha...long time didnt blog......thanks to those who tag....well,nowadays im really busy...so im really sorry for not updating.....currently busy with lots of stuffs!

1] dance work's training...preparing for 16/3(this sunday) anti-drug competition. PLEASE COME AND SUPPORT IF U ARE MY FRIENDS!please try to come....number of supporters are allocated marks as well.....the competition will be held at near cathay,orchard road.....open space...it is also near dhoby ghaut mrt station....supporters please reach by 13:00 and it will end at 16:00......

2]speech-day drama dance choreographer.

3]revisions(all subjects)

4]tuition

5]cca

no relaxation times....tired tired tired

oh ya!went to visit samuel 7/3[sports carnival day]....he's much better now....rest well,samuel!
and the sports carnival day was so funny....chohung!u r 158!!!haha......he was so funny...this 158 thingy came about when we did the class deco last minute works....after we did those works and the judges came,we were told to leave the class but we stayed on..and after awhile,we heard footsteps and the 158 got so frightened and hid full flat under the table...the scene was so funny!haha..thats it.....

updated!

sick!

2008-02-15T04:56:00.000-08:00

for no reasons,i got sick......serious flu...its killing me......argh!
sneeze and sneeze and sneeze........................................

new year was fun and was embarrass too.......why?
now i know what impression i gave others.....too boyish......[usually].....then suddenly wear feminine clothes and it will be a topic everywhere i go.....normally i just wear a T-SHIRT AND PANTS to present myself in front of others......haha......have never worn a skirt before apart from school uniform....and im not gonna break my record!so,shuxin,siying and hazi never await for that day to arrive!!

chu1.....
went to ah ma hse and ate sumptuous meal...its 'chai'.....felt disappointed cox ah ma didnt cook red bean....my favourite.......then head towards wai po hse.....ate again....a glutton...haha......this time round is 'chor'...then head bach ah ma hse and eat dinner......sooooo full........

stop here...

chinese new year,2007 december trip to genting,birthday pics

2008-02-08T05:28:00.001-08:00

this year chinese new year was dull......not much of chinese new year ambience.......received quite a no. of ang baos......haha..............in the year of RAT,wish everyone a prosper year ahead.....gong xi gong xi...........

2008-01-29T01:17:00.000-08:00

24th jan.....

the day when hazi n chang hee start.......happened during sec1 parents meeting session.........

25th jan .....

today,charlie angels a b*day party for me and shuxin.....whose bday is on 27th jan.....hers,celebrated early while mine is belated...actual on 21st jan............it was a fun day.....who came??????leonil!!!most surprisingly......dint think that he will come.....haha.....gave us present too.........for me,i received a adidas watch,a music note necklace,mug,2 soft toys...1 is bear and the other is a puppy,a bag,hongbao..........haha......quite a lot.........my bro did not honour his words....promise le yet dint buy...none of bro gave.....good har......

29th jan.....

oh.....this week is a weary week........up to as many as 8 tests coming up.............going berserk soon......and whatmore,there are another dance competition coming up,called DANCEWORK'S.....the training is tedious......but fun.....then there's CNY drama and dance performance......plus tuition....thinking of quitting tuition........wad should i do>>>?

?_?

the tuition only benefits me in maths.....while the other subjects like english and physic wasn't that beneficial..........and the fee is charge high too....don't wanna adds on burden to my parents ....they are stress....i noe.....and hope to lighten their responsibility up abit.....

im stress too.........duties are driving me nut.....nowadays,i am the only one doing patrolling....chang hee's giving excuses saying test.......as if i don have.......=_=

during chinese new year,i will indulge myself in collecting red packets........haha......nope.....definitely tons of assignments to do.......

sec 3's life isnt that easy.......apart from stress,still stress........but its a growing up process.....onward and persevere............is the only way to survive.....'work harder' will be my motto...............

2008-01-15T01:21:00.000-08:00

wow... long time dint blog le.....promote to sec 3 le....its really tiring.....tons and tons of assignments to be completed........-_-......thats life...i guess........hope things went smoothly.......

well,chat with reeta on the way back home.....about council board.....well,among the previous 2a1 councilors,i am not of much use.....haha.....cox all of them were in the future exco nomination list except me.....haha....its all right for me,,,but sometimes i jux felt that im a loner in council board.....hazi reeta and chang hee are always busy except me.........no one to chat with......most of the time....

3s1 isnt a fun class........no zhe huan,chang hee,kok kiong and the other jokers...........everyone is in their own world......no jokes,no fun.....life is so dull......

birthday coming....anyone remember??i doubt so.......only 2a1s......haha...thnata enough!!kok kiong hazi shuxin siying changhee presents!!!!!!hahahahahaha...........jux kidding....jus a 'happy birthday' is enough...........i will be contented.......

free!!

2007-12-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

well,yesterday packed all those make-ups that i possess.....alot that i wanna discard cox no more space for them to occupy....hha.....haha...then thought of charlie angels.......msg all 4 of them then all reply so fast!!!!!!!haha.......1st is siying,2nd,reeta,3rd,shuxin,4th,zqh...........haha......normally msg shuxin to await for her reply will be a few days...then cox of this shes replied so fast....haha.............all of them said yes!!!!!!!!!!haha.......i was surprised or rather taken aback by reeta ans.....haha....cos both of us usually very man de[1 issue to clarify!is til very man de only put on make-up for performances or really special events.....all make-up items are from my sis......all new de then she don wan......even branded de,,,like christian dior,lancome........haha] then now she also wan.....become gu niang liao......haha...i tol shuxin and zqh.....they were both surprised too...haha...........reeta good for u!!!!!!!!!!!!!now becoming ah gal liao.......haha

>,<

mm,today help my dad...then went to ah ma hse.......delicious red bean soup waiting to be eaten by me....so fortunate ......love you ah ma....haha......every saturday will make red bean soup for me............*v*

well,i confessed to my dagu about the golden dress last week but she had forgotten to ask tell sheena[owner of the dress].......maybe need to compensate.....not sure.....but feel relief after releasing a burden from my shoulder........don wanna hide the truth anymore...........honesty is better......9_9

thats it.......re-watching bleach.....love it......thanks to chang hee william and kok kiong for recommending me this anime......and discussed it with me..........kok kiong!i win u for this pk challenge......haha.....i took a shorter period to finish watching.....haha.....don cry.....i can hear u.....haha....
and thanks chang hee for the earrings...

?v?

2007-12-13T06:03:00.000-08:00

started tuition since this tue........quite effective i guess....cant be sure though.......well,quite ex.......but cheap for 4 subjects isnt it??it consists =A-math =E-math =physic =english......8 lessons....and every lessons is 2 hrs........fees is $190...........going on the right track again........mux be studious.......cant wreck everything....all the efforts.......although the fees is $190,my dad only paid $100...i paid the $90.........after every 8 lessons......cant go out anymore.....theres so much things i wanna do but seems that i cant.........sacrifice is a definite mux..........scrimp and saved hard...play less........thats the most i can do to fork out the money.......

=_=

WELL,MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FAMILIES has never been good.....but now hes become worse.....from worse to worst.....dad finding my mistakes.......telling me off at any other moment,mom,talk to me in a sarcastic way,siblings maligning me spoiling the computer,beat me,scold me,derogate me every now and then..........!_!

everything my fault.......feels like severing ties........i guess i won feel sad......im pretty sure that i won......they never really shower me with any care and concern..much more any love........*_*

one day i will depart from this hse.........this family.....

buying books,tuition fees,everything got to be cheap.........but thats an investment........isnt it???
many things i gotta pay myself.....thats hard.......im nearly at my wit end.....goin bonkers......

Q_Q

photos consisting of wild wild wet performance,sakura outing

2007-12-09T06:26:00.000-08:00

wild wild wet performance

2007-12-07T22:23:00.000-08:00

on 7 dec,dustbusters went to perform at wild wild wet.........disney channel invited us..........unluckily shortly after our arrival,i became very sick[feverish and cough] and was escorted to the sick bay to rest........but insisted on performing.............abstaining from eating oily stuffs....so sad.....watch others ate kfc.........argh!but i ate only fish porridge......the soup was oily,the rice was hard and only 4 pieces of pathetic sliced fish........then watch others performances......i preferred heeleys.....so cool..........then our turn....felt groggy and vomited immediately after our performance.....boarded the bus and went back to sch.........then so sweet of kathleen and janice to escort me back home after hailing a cab....send me back under my block.......then ate medicine and slept......

returning from council camp

2007-11-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

this year council camp is far much more better then last year one.....this year,we went malaysia gopeng,perak..........it is a 4 days 3 nights camp...........activities schedule is tight too.....well,the first two day we stayed in murni camp which is located at the countryside, the outskirt of the city.....the only thing i hate about that is the existence of insects!every spots leaves the trace of all kinds of insects........+_+argh!!!!!from small to big,from black to red,from those crawlers to those that spread their wings and fly....and at the 3rd day,we will move to a 5 star hotel[cant wait for it]......i will start from the very beginning of the whole trip .........

1st day..........
all councillors gathered punctually in the school at 7.30am sharp with huge backpacks slung from shoulder to shoulder.......and some is even exaggerating.with 3 or 4 bags.....consisting of sling,haversack,backpack............then all of us wrote down our particulars in the embarkation card........after that,we were split into 2 different grps.....grp 1 and grp 2.....unluckily, nicolette and i fell into grp1......whereas zqh,reeta,changhee,qingning landed in grp2........wad a loner i became.....at 8.15,all councillors boarded 2 different buses according to our allocated grp no......well,as expected,i sat alone........-_-a sudden loneliness surge inside me........i feel solitude.....and thought of frens......like[shuxin,siying,arvin,kiran,kok kiong,william,anthony,zhehuan]...........i being alone,cant help feeling lonely......everyone was chatting happily away,laughing and joking........pairs or even trio or even quartets together....but y is it only me solo?obviously,i cant mingle around with them nor can i speak the way i am......noe wad i mean?i cant present myself the way i am and i cant speak freely...u all noe how i am like in front of u guys and gals.........i jux noe that i am sad for some unknown reasons...i recollected the memories we[frens mentioned above] once had......the time we laughed hysterically,we joked,we talked craps,we played,we poured out feelings to one another and does things together..........reminiscing the times we spent together.........is sweet yet bitter at that time....u all werent there.....u wouldnt have guessed how i felt.........im glad that i had frens like u all......the memories has always keep me warmth and happy.....i would even smile stupidity to myself.............
we travelled for 8 hrs and stopped for lunch and toilet breaks from time to time....and is still alone wherever i go........perhaps im anti-social,inarticulate,ineloquent...........therefore no one will befriend me...........is that it?never mind,i knew the answers well enough......................................
at 5.40,we reached our destination after alighting off the bus and took 2 different lorries[one for each grp] into murni campsite...the track that we took was rather muddy.........and was fun throughout the whole ride.......stooping high and low,left and right so as to avoid hitting sticking branches,huge leaves and twigs that stick out from nowhere.........after about 7 min,we reached murni campsite...........speaking truthfully,i was rather disappointed but nonetheless glad that we r not pitching tent ......instead we r sleeping in hut...........we check out the whole vicinity after unpacking...........the toilet but i would rather call it latrine........and the shower place is rather expose.......theres 5 showering pipe and others from outside could see ur head sticking out......can u imagine?????no privacy at all..........no curtain or wadsoever..........and the cubicle is small and narrow and is pitch black.....although there is light in each cubicle,the bulb will flicker on and off..rather scary...imagine it went black suddenly when u r changing........*_*
well,our survival instinct.........wear clothes and bathe.........then change in cubicle.........thats wad we did..........................

bathe=dint bathe

after everyone bathed or showered,we gathered in the canteen and wait for the arrival of the food........{cooked by the locals}..............we queued up and get our food......after that,we sat down and waited for everyone to get theirs then did we start........im famished but still ate very little..........too weary i guessed.........
after dinner,we were briefed for tomorrow activities.........canyoning[waterfall abseiling] and white water rafting......
then turn in early for tomorrow tiring activities....but before that,we gals made a DIY changing room in our hut.....zzzzzzzzz

2nd day.......................
we woke up early in the morning to wash up and ate breakfast and set off to the abseiling spot............watching the water gushing down from the top was incredibly scary.....we were stunned.........one by one we wore the helmet and the harness............my turn came and i trekked up to the spot where we will descend.......the feeling is only scary!well,i slipped and laid in a m position...hahax.........then with water gushing down,i persevere and was able to land safely.................after everyone had their turn.we moved on to the next activity;white water rafting!!but before that we had a fabulous lunch....very very nice....hahaxxxxx........
phew,this activity is really tiring and exhausting......panting all the way.....its really a long way to paddle.....1 thing that was hilarious was charlotte's grp,other team shouting {one two one two....}to move on and move forward.....but theirs,was keep turning around and around...hahahaha......bwahahahaha
at the mid point,ku and i fell into the river after our raft hit on to a rock during rapid!that was oww.....my hand swell.........then found muhdnur laughing.......in the end he fell too and fell 3 times.......haha...my turn to laugh....and i admit!i laugh the loudest!!!!!!!!the moral of the story is that never laugh at others if not retribution will befall u!
end point is at the murni camp[theres a river beside it]
after such tiring activity,poor grp 1 got to collect firewoods for campfire!!!we fed the mosquitoes and its really painful......i was jumping up and down.........argh!!!carrying heavy firewoods into the shack and fed the mosquitoes .......its not the worst!the worst thing that we faced is heavy downpour!imagine torrential rain while u shower[remember wads mention above,no shelter jux pipe to bathe under the rain].......bathe=dirty...........
grp 2 was so fortunate!they bathe with sunshine,need not feed the mosquitoes,carry heavy firewoods......good for them.................but poor grp2............'bathe' le still wet..........
at night,due to the unstoppable rain,campfire canceled ..!_!
then everyone had dinner and went to pack bagpack cox we will be leaving the next day....staying in hotel!!!!!!!

3rd day
we had breakfast and then got into the lorry and set off for caving!!!!we were briefed and headed into the cave....the shapes of the stalagmites is really interesting!!theres elephant,unicorn,cat,chicken,a pregnant woman,monkey god,car,dinosaur and monalisa!after much crawling and walking,we had to go through 1ooo flight of steps!and finally out of the cave.............but before that,we experience the wind tunnel........with natural wind as cold and cool as air con but it isnt!its natural wind.......thats fascinating...........everybody washed up,we headed to the hotel!!!!!its really cold and comfy..........and the hot water is soothing for my nerves.......finally a good bath and sleep..........at night,we were brought to a shopping mall to settle our own dinner...me hazi and reeta shopped ourselves......helping reeta to look out for a bigger bag cox her current one was torn..........after reeta had chosen,we had our dinner with a few of the others at a cafe......i ate spaghetti ......not bad only but prefer pasta mania........haha...and chang hee bought claire a bag,me hazi reeta each a watch.....but i got to choose for both hazi and me cox my eye sight better...oops!hahaha
we returned to the hotel after everyone had gathered....initially,we had decided to party but everyone was so tired,we slept throughout the whole party....haha...........

4th day
in the morning,we had buffet in the restaurant.....really heavenly delicious........then board the bus to the hot spring spot........yea!1st experience.........really hot!no gals,not even one dared to try 41-43 degrees...cox its really hot..with smoke smothering...only me....haha.........so proud of
myself.......i even emerge myself inside ...some said im crazy but its jux a breakthrough..........haha....then we set off home sweet home..............

beach road

2007-11-17T03:47:00.000-08:00

went beach road today with zqh, reeta, changhee and nicolette......to buy all those camp necessary items.......but helped my dad in the morning till afternoon(1pm) then went to mrt braddell stop to wait for the others to arrive........well......i waited for 1 hour!!!!we decided meeting at 1.....and they arrive at 2!!!!!=_=i was frustrated and whatmore i was not being informed before hand.......and wasted my time......i was supposedly helping my dad between this time cox its the peak hour....and also there isnt enough assistant but due to this,i left and wasted my time ....not 15 min,not 30 min BUT 1PRECIOUS HOUR.......who wouldnt get fury????not being punctual is one of the reason im angry and the other is that they r treating me like an idiot[thats wad i feel at that time]....i was pacing up and down,from left to right and right to left again and finally back to left to right.....and they either keep smsing me or calling me making me so vexed.........telling me the direction and which cabin i should board................my phone keep ringing and i became the attention of everyone...they are looking at me as if it is an entertainment show.....watching me as if im the animal from the zoo......free show....running up and down,left, right,..........i hung up all the calls when they called..........and i am s000orry for that......too angry........-_-
finally,i sprint to the last cabin of the train and boarded the train.......initially ,i told myself to contain my anger and F and F[forgive and forget] but i couldnt........although i did not flare up,i remained silent for the whole journey........even when nicolette greeted me,i chose to ignore it......and when she asked me which stop to alight,i still ignore her.........another apology........+_+
we alighted at lavender stop......then i approached the passenger service assistant and asked for the direction to beach road cox all of us were clueless even by looking at the map.....walked to the extreme right and took the escalator and walked towards the ICA building...and again,i approached a security guard and asked for the exact location of the beach road food court where they sell army equipments.......then headed towards a pathway and asked a few indian men again and crossed the road to the other side.....block 1.....after much walking,we reach our destination.....soooo happy.......and start searching for the items that we needed....i bought head lamp for $6.50, a big green bottle[same as reeta] at $18, a hook for $1 and spectacle stretchable band at $1.50............and after that,we went to eat.........chang hee and i bought from the same stall....i ordered beef hor fun and chang hee ordered fish hor fun,super duper nice..each $3.worthwhile..i ate that 4 years ago an dthe taste remains that heavenly...........nicolette ordered kway teow instead.............i am the slowest.....&_&
then the 3 of us shared a wok of chocolate with waffle and marshmallow...it cost $7.80..taste sooo great...1st time trying......-v-
too bad,hazi and reeta were at the 1st storey enjoying their halal food......they envied us ......hahax......
after all of us finished our food,we went to junction 8 to do some window shopping......but in the train,cox of zqh secret and reeta was left out,she got angry......and remain silence......[now her turn]...then i became hyper....trying to humour her and make her laugh......but to no avail......then when we reach bishan,reeta finally speak 'can i talk now'!!!!!!!!!!hahax...bwahahahaha........we were laughing hysterically.......we shopped all those branded shops like nike.......and became thirsty and went to food court for a drink treated by chang hee.....but i foot $2 for my papaya fruit juice and he paid $0.40 for me......hahax....like this call treat???haha
and while drinking,we chatted happily.....naming all the fruit that represents.......hahahahax.....[reeta,zqh,ch u noe wad].......reeta is watermelon,zqh is rambutan,i am papaya,she xin is apple,and siying is cherry!!!{we r in order}.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahax.........hope siying don get angry.....
chang hee is wintermelon......the melon category...same as reeta...ahahahahahahaha........+v+
then took the train back to yishun and i departed from the rest......bye bye....an enjoyable outing

#v#
looking forward to the upcoming council camp to perak!!!

2007-11-10T05:32:00.000-08:00

even holiday is so ....well,hectic..........................................drama meeting and musical and assignments,dance practices,council camp,work assignments,help my dad.......................and last of all,............................the most depressing problem i had now....................the golden dress is now lost.........lost in sch before school holiday................................and no one bothered to offer a solution....u al noe who u r....i have to face this myself...........well,almost all the lit costumes was borrowed from my families and relatives..........and now that piece went missing.........-_-
'
wad am i goin to do...........................?_?
i jux got to tel my aunt the truth and probably gonna compensate with my own pocket money and get reprimanded................................................................thinking of this,i feel like crying................

im doom.........

yesterday,went to watch my sis volleyball match and as expected,they won shuqun sec........i invited 11 of u yet only 2 went with me......thnx kk and ch........................william ps at the last min........quite pathetic.........well,jux gonna give support to my sis since she is sad about the issue that my mom did not went to see even one of the 7 match she played............she won 6......cheer sis!
we took mrt to yio chu kang and took bus72 to hougang sporthall.........when the 3 of us stepped in,it is fascinating.........balls flying all around.......and then i headed towards my sis team and all of them LAUGH!the reason is tt we r twin...and we look too alike.....and they couldnt believe their eyes when they saw me and kept laughing......making me so embarrass...........after waited for half an hour,its my sis team turn.......they r against shuqun which my sis told me that they are fren....but they don look like it.........much more like foe and probably they cox they are opponent........they beep..............................................1st set started........ well,my sis team lost.......14 against 25......they are not focusing..kk and ch made so much noise and i was irritated by their sarcacism......then their coach reform the strategy plan..........2nd set start,they won.....also 14 against 25........now came the 3rd set...which is the last duel..................this time round the score is only 15.......and my sis team emerge as the winner............the tension atmosphere is finally over.........then they form a row and shake the opponent hand........
then went to eat at kfc.......then went arvin hse for deepavali dinner......and played blindmice....and we went home at 10++++++.....

chalet @v@

2007-11-01T07:16:00.000-07:00

an unforgettable outing!
well,i return yesterday midnight as i hitch a ride by siying father car.........

recount of the past 3 days at chalet.....

1st day......
this day,only organizers were supposed to come...but shuxin for some reason ,she came......as for me,i conspired with shuxin and chang hee and therefore could come........madel doesnt noe.......hahax........became so cheeky......and #v#........hope she doesnt mind.........
ok...on this day,my dad with the accompany of my mom,they drove me there.....to pasir ris costa sand resort.........................reach at 5.30.................................instead of directing me in,shuxin jux told me the room no.........D7 and 8........argh!i was searching like hell..............and finally with the help of the counter assistant,i did manage to find...............................so grateful to shuxin!
HAHAX

AND WHEN I REACH,MADEL WAS QUITE SURPRISE.......hahax
^_^
then...then.....i help out with the unpacking.........then came the most disgusting yet hilarious part!kk cooked the pasta and wad happen next is that the whole plate of pasta landed in the basin!wad the hack!who dare to eat.......argh........but we still eat it *happily andwith contentment.........-_-
after that,we took quite a lot of grp photos.......hahax........then all of us bathe and went to white sand shopping mall......WE shop emptiness!all shops closed and we had dinner at mac.....after that,we walk back to chalet......
then time to sleep!but they are playing cards!at 3am++++ ,all of us went crazy and made milo t drink........then sing some songs and slept.......hahax......

2nd day!

this day is crazy!went to watch sunrise......and instead of really had a captivated sight of the sun,we saw nothing!i was actually boiling inside me but jux did not flare up!trying to contain my anger........u noe.....i did not want to stir up feelings..........later everybody not happy.......and then walk back to chalet and slept!now!kok kiong and i had a pk goin on!to day is who slept the longest!

AND THE WINNER IS......................................................................................................................

*TIAN@(weirdo rite!)should feel abash but stil so happy!kk mux be there grumbling away!hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guess how many hrs i slept!actually i also don noe.......but i noe very very long!!!!

-after *watching the sunrise,went back to sleep!slept for one and a half hour and woke up to eat maggi(breakfast)then sleep again.......sun rise laio.....siying reach liao,i stil sleeping.........zhehuan anthony darrel william all reach liao.....and i stil sleeping!

then at nite,we had bbq..........and chang hee parents came.....bot chicken drumsticks,fried noodle,fried rice and satay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so much food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cant finish............................then they played scissor paper stone and the loser gonna eat wad the winner choose......thats the way we cleared all the bbq stuffs!!!!!!!eating the most is zhe huan.......

3rd day!
another pk ......today we competed who wake up the earliest!and the winner is....................................................................................................................................................................

again me!TIAN2....................................impressive yea!

today we went wild wild wet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!shiok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!free entrance........hahahahhaha
played all kind of stuffs........from floats to waves to slides..............i hate one of the slide thingy!!!!!!!!!!!when sliding,it is pitch black!!!!!!!!!argh........................when i came out,my leg is wobbly..........-_-then the next slide is the U slide thingy.....................that oe is the scariest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i am always facing the direction where u noe wads coming next!0played that for 3 times.......after the 3 try,me,shuxin,zahin,william watched zhe huan grp play......heir face is like..........................................hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!with the face crinkling and the expressions!!!!!!!!!!!!!we enjoyed the fun til 5+++++ then went back to chalet to bathe......then went to eat.....then me and siying went home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!although they tried to persuade me to stay,i was nonetheless willing to...u noe....homesick....no la.....jux wanna hitch a ride.......and madel say chang hee dads car is already fully occupied and she seems like not welcoming me...so go back home better..............

then sleep!

=v=

2007-10-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

well,i don understand this weird feeling of mine.....i jux felt so empty....
and we got back report book back today......and i did not do very well......-_-'

failure.........level position is jux 18...........down graded........really regretted....i did not work hard...and i noe its too late........this kind of result,how can i show my parents?and wad will they say?derogating me again?and can i take it........o_o

never mind...i gonna pull up my socks the upcoming year.........
but it sad to be depart with 2a1 frens......many of us is not goin to be classmates next year.......

2a1,lets look forward to this upcoming class chalet which only belongs to 2A1!
im looking forward to this last 2a1 outing........lets gather for the last time and enjoy!

mm,a loner........me?quite true........zqg and reeta ignored me when having a great time with naz.......although zqh and reeta tried to engage me to join in,but the topic is so alien to me.......well,most of the time,in malay too......
but im preoccupied with other thoughts......

too relax...

2007-10-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

now holiday is coming soon!as soon as 2 more days!
life after exams is so hard to past......time is rotating so slow.....haix....but very fun!whole day playing and beside playing,still playing!!!2a1 making so much noise...hahax........hvh

now im busying dancing for mr low farewell party.....whole week trainings........-_-
and most unluckily,i fell sick...wth.......cough....2_2coughing all day long......
any effective cough relief medicine?haix...............................................
but should be blaming myself.....haha......cough then still buy french fries to eat......^v^

i mux also update on monday trip to malaysia!22 oct........

well,in the morning,i went to sch for dance training and then meet up with my mom and her 2 frens to go malaysia..........i brot clothes to change.......ivi
and together,we took mrt down to.......i forgot where......hahax........and at that place,we took bus to woodland custom......and from there,we went straight to malaysia custom and reach our destination in a malaysia taxi ride................and time to shop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERYTHING IS SOOOOOOOOO CHEAP!i bot 2 bags,1 nike and the other zinc!guess how much it cost........

it cost Rm 40 and convert to singapore$ is jux $17 each......it is damn worthwhile!singapore sell it at $35 the cheapest and i can get it at $17!hahax............................i will definitely get all kind of bags from malaysia if i need to buy any......not from singapore.......and i gonna get my 2008 school bag from malaysia too......i tol reeeta about this and she immediately ask me to get her one if im going malaysia again...hahax......so shiok......beside bags,i bot disc.....also very cheap....hahax.....cant mention how much....too cheapskate liao...hahx.....and its clear!i too bot a fanciful bling bling hairband at Rm 3.90 and only $1.50 in singapore.....
we also ate heavenly delicious food at de xing restaurant......wow......mamamia.......#v#
we ate twice...one at 1 o clock and the other at 6.3opm..its simply marvellous!and after that we called a taxi which specialize in sending us straight back home from malaysia and headed home sweet home...................
the trip is fun and cool......!

*v*

haix......

2007-10-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

hard work did not reali paid off.......results......+_+
i dare not show my parents.......if not.......o_o
i can only wait for the report book then show them.at least it can pull up my grades.....even when i got 3rd for chinese with 84.25 marks,guess wad she said before u read on..........
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???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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'wah!'
'so lousy !'

and my heart shattered......!_!

im not smart much more intelligent but i did wad i can yet........g_g
feel like quitting councillor board.......my mom said that im not fit to be a councillor.......bein derogated........................but to accept

wad the hack is goin on?

2007-10-15T05:48:00.000-07:00

today another bad thing happen.......!_!

i was watching vcds from 12 to 3 pm......then my dad,flare up and shouted at me and confiscate the vcds.......wad the hack....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
exam is over and cant i relax???????wad his reason for doin so is that i don pay for the electricity bills!and wad more infuriating is that he shouted at me to GET A JOB!how old am i to get a job????????????????????????????????????????????????
a father behaving like a child and childish act!i cant stand it...............=_=
im jux a 14 years old teenager and who is goin to hire me????

and he demanded me to clear my desk.......but as i said,the com had occupied almost al the available spaces and where can i place my things?and he said throw things that are unnecessary..........wad i have is mainly books!so are all the books considered as unnecessary?nobody think for me.................they never spare a thought for me........................well,wad can i expect from them.....im jux aggrieved by it........he even said that he would throw anything that he sees if it to him messy!under the bed,theres books and those are my mom who suggested that i can place it there and im the one getting scolded.............my mom even said very sarcastically that she is the one who suggested and said she had tolerated me long enough......@_@

im saddened by my dad unreasonable reasons.............link back to the previous post,he is angry over that im not willing to help him......................haix....haix......
and that i always pull a long face.........................and i am apathetic towards the family................but had they ever spare a thought for me???
actually i had promised to meet nicolette to teach her cycle but because i was told to clear my desk that i had to cancel the plan.......+_+

my mom was so favoritism towards my sis......i already tol her that i am having my collection of watches and yet she bot 4 and let my sis choose 2 as she like or even all 4............she was not interested in watches until i ask my mom buy!im not bein petty but its really not fair........wad my mom bot for my sis is exceptionally nice and with exquisite designs...............feel like.......0_0

my bro,the one who abuse me,was gloating away when i get scolded by my dad,mom..............#_#

great family,isnt it!

K_K

THINHgs went wrong........

2007-10-14T06:59:00.000-07:00

-_-

my life is in a whirl now....things that happen to me and things that cannot be efface......................................................................................................................

my dad cannot be riled......if not life will be agony......i,seems to hate him........=_=
he is so tactless.............speak so loud of his grievances....it seems that he had so much to say.........i help him to work and yet receive no pay....not even a dollar,a cent!yet i had no grievances.....he shouted at me and said that i gave him attitude.........................................................................................................................
i help him work in the morning every saturday and thats wad i get....well...disappointed........only 2 weeks due to exam periods ,i didnt help .....wth......my parents don understand me at al......they want me to help but not need me......anyone understand how it feels????WELL,I GUESS NOT...........want and need differs......

he criticize me so harshly yet i could not defense myself.............he said i was unwilling to help ....but guys!imagine it urself.......mon,tue,wed,thur,fri studying and sat,fancy goin to work in the morning!!!!!!!!!im not a robot........i neet time to rest and relax.........a continuous 6 days of hectic life every week is making me mad......of course on that sat morning i will look tired but its human nature!will anyone look very very energetic after a whole row of exhausting days??????????
i doubt so.................................and izzit wrong to doze off when im too tired>>>>?
wadever i do seems to be heinous crimes in his perspective...............................
his perceptions is wrong and would not listen to others.....to him,i mux seems energetic all the times,smiling all the times,helping him without any grievances,get good results in studies,be an obedient child all the times and all of this,i simply had enough!the more he force me,the more i wanna rebel..............
i jux wanted to be myself............................................................................................
i realli wanna be myself.............................................................................................

i don wanna be a puppet and definitely not!

at night,he ordered all of us to watch how a family set up a horticulture business and having the sons and daughter that are so supportive....he wanted us to be like them...........................but from wad i understand about that show,only 3 out of 9 children of his decided to take over him............and most importantly of all,they love and enjoyed doin it.......it is their interest!interest isnt something that can be force.....................thats the point my dad don get it..haix....argh!thats frustrating.............................

0_0

i noe wad he expects and wad we ought to do but im trying hard to do it well....but every time he jux spout criticism out of nowhere and expects wad he expect.............................y mux it always be my fault?y mux it i mux change for his sake?i knew he had to shoulder great responsibilities but i had my own trouble and life i had to lead............im helping but although it is to him,too small to mention,it shows my sincerity!mux i do noble act to show that im helping>?im willing to help but it is sometimes too tired and that i would doze off.....if thats the case ,i can only apologize........im willing to help but i mux state that it is not my interest.....................................*_*it really isnt.....

i had no great rapport with my family and don mind too......i jux hope for a little more freedom.....no more mental struggle...no more misunderstandings.....thats not too much...i hoped....

#_#

UPDATE....

2007-10-12T05:18:00.000-07:00

FRENS,,,,thanx for ur concern......well.....i really had no other alternatives and therefore wrote my feels up here........hope u guys don mind.............

ok....today,i went shopping with qing ning ..nicolette..anthony..kok kiong.......at ang mo kio hub........i bot hei tang ma qi duo and was broke.......i mux sat tt qn can really shop!!!!!!!!!!!!!bot so much clothes..........and bag.......................haix......pro....
i only accompanied qn and n........i,myself.......cant shop......shop and my legs went sore..........+_+................too tired to mention........but im goin back amk hub next week to buy VCDs................they are finally out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thats it.......and cant really update tt often......since tt incident,the com is under controlled by my 'bro'...............................

exams finally over.....and feel so free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i gonna shop for al i can this holiday but the only problem is $$$$$$$$$.....hahax...

!_!

2007-10-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

today,wad had i done to being suffered by someone so called a brother???a biology brother..........................................................-_-

when i came home,i jux wanted to use the com while he is sleeping.......then,the next moment,he disconnected the server and forbid me to operate the com........i was infuriated......................and then i plucked out all the wires .........the com is on my table yet i had no control over it...........it takes up my study desks and i has no place to study.......they will sit in front of the com from morning till night non stop and me???everyday sitting outside living room to study......on the floor......i hate it!!!!!!

when i plucked out the wire,he started to pinch me on my arms .....its really painful and i cried.....it turns blue black.........he demanded me to insert the wires back and i refuse.........then he kicked and punch me...............p_p
i tolerated and he hit me until i bleed..........i hate him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and called me DOG................

well,i hated all this yet i could not retaliate...even if i tell my mum,they will say my fault.......

one day,i will stop all this...........

burning inside me!

2007-10-06T04:56:00.000-07:00

TODAY i went library with qingning changhee anthony darrel.......those tt promise to come yet back out last min......I HATE u!!!!!!!!!!*n*

u didnt even get the facts right and said we will definitely play a fool and have fun there......im here proofing to u that we did study except for darrel...!
although it seems nothing for me to be angry,but wad u said is really irritating....!
get the facts right before u say anything.....moonshine!

we went ang mo kio library and studied for 5 hours....it seems that only me qn and ch studied..........-o-

in the mid,we went cafe galilee to have drinks and it cost everyone one of us except darrel to pay $4.50 ant total $17.50 for a card for 5 drinks.....its heart aching!!!!!!!!!! the drinks arent nice and wanna make me n qn puke.....blegh...+_+after that went back to study again....

at 4,we went to ang mo kio hub to eat dinner....ch darrel ant ate "niao fan" which is chicken rice.....qn ate prawn noodle.....and i ate zha jiang mian.......not nice de......and it cost $3.50........@n@

then qn and i separated with the guys and went to shop for awhile.......and i went to ah ma hse to eat dinner........but because i have already eaten at amk hub,i couldnt eat much and my ah ma looked sad....haix...sorry .....ah ma.....

and bion bion is forever so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and hitch a ride from my gu gu mummy to get home.....

disappointed...yet persevere

2007-10-05T04:01:00.000-07:00

eng,chinsese,history,lit,geog,is over...........-_-
out of oll this..im most disappointed and saddened over lit paper.....i spend so much effort on it and was tricked by unseen prose ...and 25 marks gone.....but luckily the others i had some confidence......i hope i could do well for the rest of the papers .....im relying on math and sci...this late half year,my sci had shown drastic improvements and therefore i can do well for sci...as for maths,i can only do well if i really work them out....so i have organize a revision day with zhehuan,chang hee,kok kiong,qing ning.anthony..........at ang mo kio library........

exam period isleep really late at night...sleep at 1 am every day and woke up at 5.50.....reach school at 6.25............0_0

i realise that i have no plans for future...no ambition,confuse of whether goin to poly or jc....everybody is confusing me.......w_w
i don even noe wad im good at......u_u

wad job suits me?
wad class to take for sec 3?
can i cope?
how to cope?

this moment thinking real hard.....i will update again if i tot about it...give me advice too....

exam period.

2007-10-01T23:52:00.000-07:00

now exam period ...no time and no mood to blog....sorry guys.....im immersing myself into whole stack of books and files.....-_-...but find history really exciting.....

i blog for another reason...i rode to school today!!!!!first time....and it was hilarious....i was not familiar with the route to ride to school using bike and got myself into funny situations.......eg,thinking that it is the correct route,i took and was blocked by blocks.....-x-wad the.....and look stupid when i started laughing to myself......and when i finally reach sch,i ask songyu for the route to take....and was finally =enlighten=........thanks song yu!

and wad happen today....o..ya....we have a total of 8 free periods!!!!!shiok......shiok.....spend 2 periods in hall,2 periods in art room,4 periods in music room,1 period in class........revising history!!!!!!!!soon becoming very well knowledge.....haha

while in the hall, kk saw hazi so lonely and he looked forlorn...and instead of going to her and accompany her,he asked me to.....2_2.....wad the......thankyou loyal citizen member for creating jobs for me!but actually i don mind....haha....

and in art class,i leart some malay words.....and reeta and hazi laugh at me....its indeed funny...with my weird pronunciations........

and finally bell rang,and i cycled home.....=z=

stress out!!

2007-09-23T04:56:00.000-07:00

my body felt bein mutilated!!damn stress.....homeworks are never ending....not even a moment of relaxation......breathing hard.....almost gasping ...!_!

today,i completed so many written essays...compo,lit unseen prose,maths 2006 paper 2,montage ws,chinese compo..................+_=

ok,today, i woke up at 9am and did some maths....then i accompanied my mom to chong pang....to get FBT shorts for my sis for her volleyball outfits......i bot another watch also.....now,together i have 3 dear watches.....im gonna start my collections of watch!!!!!!!then at around ...12pm,we headed home.....

and again,CHIONGIONG ASSIGNMENTS!

finished everything at around 73opm......its exhausting..........really weary....especially unseen prose....so tedious...writing almost 3 and the half pages in fear that it will be rejected again....hope not again!!!

^t^

tomorrow schooling.....YyY

touched....

2007-09-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

attended mr ben matrimony..........watch thrillers,exchange of rings ceremony...etc....and after that,went to ah ma hse.....i was almost lost!!!!luckily i asked a auntie for the routes to take.....-_-

2007-09-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

gotta focus.....end of year exams starting next week.....

yesterday,i slept at 1.50....almost 2 am did i went to bed....y?????????doin hw.........phew...!!including reading idioms book.....theres compo,math ex 14D,math specimen paper 2[but i lost the qns paper and therefore felt stress and couldnt sleep]..,chinese newspaper format writing............-_-

this morning,i woke up and sneezed..........and what happened next????????i bleed.......eieiei.....my blood can fill a pail!from 6 am i bleed till 650 am.................it was horrible and terrible....even when i brush my teeth,wash my face,i got to pinch my nose hard to prevent the blood from staining the whole basin........the whole scene was indeed gruesome......had no idea wad came over me.............phew....

work loads are increasing and is more than expected........-u-..maths corrections is my biggest challenge...cho hung returned so many past assignments at a go ........!!!!!gotta burn mid night oil to complete..........laborious!!!!dark eye rings are more obvious now.....haix.....any products to introduce????????

although life is more hectic now, but i knew im living life to the fullest........=u=

feel like sleeping this very moment..........

twosome outing....

2007-09-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

its hilarious!!!!!guess wad we bot for madel as a gift?cant mention it now cox madel will peep on my blog and will not be a surprise anymore....-v-

at around 430pm,i was supposedly meeting with hazi and reeta to go to woodlands...for>>some kind of hari raya bazaar....i was rather excited until on my way to meet them,reeta msg me n said some matter cropped up and couldnt go....well,then its left with me and hazi....

we met at mrt station and took the train to woodlands...in the train,hazi mention something about supernatural issues....its creepy.....i wouldnt wan to mention it in fear that it is showing disrespect.......

when we reach our destination,we alighted .......it was quite a disappointment when we reach there as it seem the style of a 'PASAR MALAM' instead of a grand bazaar........nevertheless,we quite enjoyed ourselves........we gad around and bags caught our views.....we gape at the designs of the bags and left with great disappointment.....we dint buy...-_-..but we make a pact to go back and buy when we save sufficient amount of $......

after that,we went in to cause way point and did window shopping....walk walk walk walk.....and ;times up,we went back to the bazaar and bot food......and then headed home.........8v8

2007-09-21T00:16:00.001-07:00

2007-09-21T00:12:00.001-07:00

2007-09-21T00:09:00.001-07:00

2007-09-21T00:04:00.001-07:00

gratifying!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-19T01:43:00.000-07:00

THANKS MADEL!!!!!!!!

its damn nice....!!!!yea....artistic feel...fvf.....

thanks
thanks thanks
thanks thanks thanks
thanks thanks thanks thanks
thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
6v6,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ended,,,,,,,

2007-09-18T00:47:00.000-07:00

on 16/9, we had our last dance..........we are all in this together.

yesterday,17/9,weary........gotta help out in props explanatory,draw costume designs,layout design................sci chpt12.... chinese spellings.........argh!!!!!!!!felt sudden anger surging inside me...felt so confuse yet so contented.............-_-

end..

wonderful experience...feel like superstar!

2007-09-15T05:57:00.000-07:00

this morning we had filming goin on...we reached school early to practice...and funny loke was dancing again!!!!!!gonna have new fascinating videos on her soon...!!!!!!!!!

ok, i will continue what were the whole list of things happening today...when the disney channel crew came,and after they set up the necessary props,we started filming...it feels simply wonderful...we had at 10 shots at different angles..and when we perspire alot,theres assistant there to help us wipe our face and a male make-up artiste to do touch-up....when we came to the last shot,the poppers was unable to pop at the correct timing..and when it finally did, the whole tube of poppers flew from one end to the corner....it was definitely hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!+w+

after the shoots in the hall,we headed towards the music room for mr ben interview.....we had to be at the background dancing and pretend to learn dance steps from mr ben,cox they had to film the whole process.then mr ben impart his special learning talks to us about the whole process he been together wih us...about observations,inspire and influencing others....in a good way....all of us would miss him terribly after next week,his wedding.....-_-he was a great instructor,confidante,friend,buddy after all.......*w*

everything ended at around 6.15 and mr ben treat us mac....so generous of him...-v-
it was quite late when we came out from mac....around 8.30...
took bus home after that....

first time..

2007-09-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

this morning went to check on duty board and was glad that i was the 2nd ic for lower sec recess block...First time being 2nd ic.....4v4...nothing more to update le....then after school, chang hee and i briefed our member;zhi sheng,kim chye and 2 buddies,jia yu,joanne,nazry...but only the high-lighted names came........they are so cooperative...

i remembered now....theres a huge commotion today at blockG..LEVEL 3 N 4....PHEW!!!!!the sec 2 guys are creating trouble for councillors and would not cooperate.....feel like flaring up but contained my anger well enough....they are really trying to provoke us and testing our patience....theres simply a limitation for their inappropriate behaviours...well,if they still would not cooperate,then..we have to resort on the last method,report to miss soo....tats not the option that i want to give them but it is going to a level that is intolerable...if such cases persist, i guess all lower sec recess block members will soon have high blood pressure...6n6

last but not least, tomorrow will definitely be a weary day for dustbuster....going back to school for filming........i guess it will be an enjoyable experience......hahax..'w'

q_q

2007-09-13T00:06:00.000-07:00

dint post for the last 2 days cox im too tired......
today, it seems like a misery day for me....without realizing, i cried.......for??i don noe....im probably too stress or too troubled......-_-.....
yesterday i tried to ask my mom for money to cut my hair but she flare up........and refuseD......i dint do anything wrong yet i have to face all the criticism...........@_@....well,what do i have to do?but to bottled it up all inside me.......feel like writing poem this very minute...

am i the one i am?
are u the one im familiar?
y am i feeling this way this min,aggrieve?
i yearn for the better but how?
im clueless........
trying to brush off the pain that have inflicted in my heart....tried hard but to no avail....

sorry to have bored u companions, but that was how i feel right this moment......

a moment of infatuation yet folly.........-_-

i have got back my report book and did reasonably well...but not the standard i targeted.....5 As and 4Bs

p_p

after one week holi.....

2007-09-10T07:26:00.000-07:00

this morning i walk to school.....and i only took 20 min!!!!..`w`...fast aye...
and today was very restless and lethargic...don noe y......almost fell asleep in history lesson....-_-
but tried to pep myself up by forcing my eye to open BIG BIG.....and that was even more tiring.....
after sch, someone keep pestering me for my ORANGE watch...u noe who u r...hahahaha.....like a jest......ok...i will stop here....

boring ay????no alternatives.....9w9

CHAMPION

2007-09-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

we emerge as champion for MSR competition!!!!!!!!!!
dustbuster rocks!!
we reach ps at 12pm..the earliest....cox we want to see alan luo........qing ning was damn disappointed when she didnt have the chance to take photo og xiao zhu......'

we went there and have lunch...mrs zahri treat us....then we went to report at around 230 for briefing.and we are being filmed for disney channel........and at 330 ,the competiton start!!!!!!! 1_1.....nervous yet excited.......finally its our turn and we went up there giving it all.....we r the 1st team.....after all groups finished their performance,we stayed around for the result.........and finally the long awaited result was out...........we held on to each other hand and hoped for the very best.....consolation prize pass,third prize pass,and then GRAND prize........whole atmosphere was so tense......and then the MC announce ORCHID PARK!!!!we hugged each other numerous times and went on stage to receive goodie bags, a FREE HANDPHONE, TROPHY, and a $2500 cheque..the other participants was so friendly and they came forward to congratulate us........9v9

the feeling was wow!!!!

and after that we had another round of dancing......

and we stayed back for filming and photographing....it feels like STARS!!cool yea....we went backto school feeling lethargic and headed home..........=w=

does anyone have DISNEY CHANNEL????????????

hsm training....

2007-09-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

went mac with qn to teach her math....really vomit blood......p_p..then after that came victoria and then went to school together....for MSR training....we started a new exercise....listen to music and do popping....fun yea...8u8....then we did our regular routine....play the music and do full out.....but without me knowing y, my right leg hurt....really painful...k_k.....

im worrying if i am goin to delay the group progress and bring down the whole group joyous and energetic performance....but i will definitely do mu utmost tomorrow...my dream day......MSR final......

DUSTBUSTER hope to achieve the best and we really think we can do it!!!!!!!

`v`

study!!!!!!!!

2007-09-06T05:25:00.000-07:00

today really went all the way out....doin hw....yea!!!!!i have completed all assignments....
math mensuration exercises, SETSws 4n5, chinese journal, eng narrative writing and mindmap planning, history inference skill recap ws, science theory chpt 9.............but left with reader.....ARGH!!!!!

accompanied zqh to buy sci theory workbook....she lost it ..haix0_0..
really studious...went library with zqh and shuxin...on the way zqh and i keep making fun of sx....*v*...when we reach woodland library,sx starts her cold joke...ITS REALLY COLD....rate it yourself!!!

one guy went to a library with his companions and out of the blue,he shouted
'1 cheeseburger!'
then the librarian came forward to shut him up...and showed him the SILENT sign..the next moment,the guy whisper to his friend
;1 cheeseburger'...

AND THATS THE END OF THE COLD JOKE....i stoned...@_@...

after the cold joke,we finally step into the library and took the escalator..we search each level for seats with table but in vain..p_ -

sx and i did math hw while zqh was struggling in redoing whole of sci theory...sort of sympathizing her...9v9..

at around 5pm, we pack up and went to eat dinner at KFC....then took mrt ane headed home sweet home....TvT

hsm training...

2007-09-05T01:25:00.000-07:00

woke up at around 8 and went mac to study....but all the others came late..wad the....
without realising wad im doin, i called qing ning to mac when madeleine was also there...both of them are always at loggerheads....-_-..

at around 11.10 qing ning and i headed to school for MSR training....when mr ben arrive, he watch the performance at plaza singapura with us and pointed out all the mistakes....after that we start training...amendments were make...and it took quite long for all of us to get it right...9_0....when we started to talk among ourselves, he became very angry...b_b....and shouted at us...but we still enjoy....because we know what he did was good for us...=v=....FANNY/FUNNY LOKE was definitely a joker today....we are laughing our heads off watching her dancing..with clumsy movements....wow...and thats fascinating!we videoed it down and put up on class blog..to let others have the chance to catch a glimpse of that great,,,,u noe wad i mean tt 'cutie dance',,to put it more encouraging,!!!!

#v#.

i missed the chance to watch movie again!!!!today mr ben delayed the time so couldnt make it ....noe wad!!in my 14 years life, i only watch 4 movies before!!tts pathetic..isnt it>???o_o...

tiring day..

2007-09-04T00:53:00.000-07:00

phew..trying to finish all assignments today.....i had just completed math ws 4 n 5....

yaya is gone....and i miss her ...really missing her...i thought time will heal my pain but it added even more misses......will she be back??i doubt so.....i still hope that one day she will be back to make me laugh....

we did it...!

2007-09-03T07:01:00.000-07:00

AT 7.35 PM, i receive a call from janice and guess what!
DUSTBUSTER make it to the final....we are one of the 5 finalists!!!!!!!!!!our effort had finally paid off......felt sooo great!!!!!!!!!@v@

finally....

2007-09-03T00:56:00.001-07:00

yesterday performance was a fun and great one....
'my school rocks' audition was soooo fun....and i must say, we did it...
DUSTBUSTER rock....*v*..

all thanks to our instructor, mr ben and arron.....

thanks to all supporters from orchid park...and my friends...
when its our turn to go on stage, we are nervous but all of you guys cheers and moral support really calm us down..u all really liven up our spirit....and whatmore, mr ben gave our performance 85 marks..and many people came up to dustbuster members and said well done...the feeling is simply wow..after our turn, after much persuasion then arron treated us 4 large cokes and 2 large milo from macdonald..and we saw mr ben fiancee and arron girlfriend..both are really beauties!!...

through this MSR competition, i enjoyed myself and get to know people that i resent last time....

hope we can into the final......&v&